Word for all occassion - amma

Of the times that i spent
The best of them were spent
In your lap and In your arms.
Never there was a time
When you had no time,
Never there was a moment
When you were absent,
To look after me,
To bare with my tantrums,
To enjoy my mischeif and
To spend time for me -
Even in my absence.

Life had taught me
Lot of complexities.
Life had enlightened me
With lot of adventures.
But with all those
Little wordly wisdom,
I still fail to understand
How you sport
A beautiful smile
on your calm face -

How much ever
I embaress you,
I hurt you,
I fight with you - Yet
You continue to love
Me all the more -
Each morning as i wake up And
Each night as i wish you a happy sleep.

Travelling far and wide
The tender heart of mine,
Thought nothing but you,
Trying to understand
The beautiful bond,
The wonderful love,
That we share -
Through the rough and smooth
Thoroughly enjoying the ride.

No one can replace you
No replication can equal you.
You are one and
You are my beautiful mom.
Will I ever be able to repay you?
No i dont want to.....

I just want to be indebted to you
Not for today, not for tomorrow
But for all the births that
I take - As your gorgeous child
And you - As my lovely mother.
Love you amma.

If not for you,
I would not have realized
The beauty of love,
The presence of god - And
The importance of life.

I cry, i smile, i laugh
I wonder, i think, i shiver -
Its you who cofort me at all times.
Aint you a beautiful person for all times?
Aint calling you the first thing I do at all times?
Amma, the trust you gave me
I have given no one nor
Has anyone given me.
Love you ma
For all that you do for me.

-dedicated to all wonderful souls better known as mother

A lovely lane

It was a lonely lane
As my mind wandered insane.
With every step I rushed - And
With every step I blushed.
The heart thumped loud - And
My eyes remained unmoved.

There she stood!!
Separated by few miles,
Sporting a wonderful smile and
Glowing in a remarkable style,
Making my trail, worthwhile.

She might like me,
She might hate me,
She might adore me,
She might loathe me,
I will bare them all,
For she is the One
Who made my lonely lane,
A lovely lane.
-Sramven.

An adult

who is part of an Indian family and still lives in some part of India will definitely be made to swim across the matrimony ocean, and i am no exception. So are my very many friends, some have found the most loved pearls, some have found best of quicksands, some have decided to dive at a spot but are hesitant because of unknown reasons (even to them :P) and many like me are scared to take a dive. 

When i ask many as to why do they want to get married, i get weird answers..While some told me its their ambition to get married (ooopsss!!!!), some went a step ahead. They boasted, getting their next generation ready as a  big achievement for them personally...Oh my gaaaawwwwdddd....And these are people who  have done their education from the best of universities. While i don't deny, the challenges involved in today's lifestyle to run a happy family, but having that as their ambition...well I must thank them for making my year:)

As i sit and look around, what has marriage done to very many people in my first circle...I just grasped probably the tip of the iceberg. I say so, for i have not tested the waters yet. Before marriage its all about I, ME and MYSELF. After marriage it changes to WE WE WE.....Then the Indian society stands around the newly wed asking "When baby, when baby?"...and most do their duty without fail, but it does not stop there. They worry about providing good care for the kid, in the process they run behind more money, more comfort, better lifestyle. In between they satisfy their conscience by buying stuff for elders, which is of no use to them, but it was....Visit friends and close knit family on occasions but in all formality...They forget the word casual in the transformation. Very rarely we see people relax, enjoy life 

- like the college days with their pals

- like the childhoods with their cousins

- like a child with their parents

and exceptionally very few as good parent to their kids.....

But still life moves on.....Suddenly i realized the amount of sacrifice that every stakeholder puts in to make one happy couple for the society, for their better half, for their parents, for their in-laws, for their friends, for their kith and kin, by their friends, by their family, by their kith and kin.....But how many really make sacrifices and not compromises? There is a big world of difference between the two......

A good friend of mine once said, "Life is all about compromises, we make compromises to lead a happy life"....Sometimes i wonder what are sacrifices really for? Are they really worth the pain? Is it really worth the love which made us do the sacrifices and not compromises? Sometimes i wonder is it really worth the time remembering the sacrifice and the good old love that empowered it?

Still searching for answers....

Let glory be with kalyan....

A different yet thoughful birthday gift...

Of the many things i have shunned away, my birthday has been the top of my list. For some reason I have ensured i have been away from my folks for my birthdays. Solitude has been my best friend for a long time and my birthdays are always spent with solitude and i prefer it to be so.....Yes some people like me enjoy solitude.

Left behind...

Along the roads,
Came the light.
As I walked,
They took a nap.

I chose to stay back,
Till they snapped out of their nap,
Far too long I stayed back
For life just left me back.
- sramven

தொடரும் தனிமை

சட்டென்று விழித்தேன்
கண்கள் உன்னைத் தேட
சுற்றத்தில் நீ இல்லை - என்
நெஞ்சத்தில் வேறெவரும் இல்லை

மயானம் தோற்கும் அமைதி - என் வாழ்விற்கு
நீ எழுதும் நியதி
அக்னியும் அலறும் சூடு - என் மனதிற்கு
நீ கொடுக்கும் வடு

நித்தம் நாம் சென்ற பாதை
பித்தம் கொண்டு திரிந்தேன்
உன் பிம்பம் தேடி நான் செல்ல
தொடுவானத்தையும் நான் கடந்தேன்

குளிர் காற்று வீச
நிழல் ஒன்று கிடைக்க
யாக்கை உறங்கத் துடிக்க
நிம்மதி மறந்த நெஞ்சம்
என்  நிழலையும் மறக்கடிக்க

இடைவிடாத உன் மௌனம்
முடியாத என் ஏக்கம்
தொடரும் உன் பயணம்
வளரும் நம் தூரம்

உன் பிரிவால் தனிமை
உன் நினைவால் வெறுமை
அவ்ரணத்தால் சுகம் - புன்னகைத்தேன்
விழிகளில் வெள்ளம் பொங்க
இப்படிக்கு எஸ்ராம்வெண்


Thanks to Raj for the patience and courage, each time i reach out to him.
Previous on same genre.

தனிமை வாழ்த்து

தனிமை வாழ்த்து

அம்மாவாசை நிலவொளியில்
 ஓடினேன் ஒத்தையடிப் பாதயில்,
உறவு விட்டு வீடு விட்டு
விடுதி வசித்தேன் கல்லூரியில்,
தாய்மண் பிரிந்து ஜோலிக்கு
தஞ்சம் அடைந்தேன் அண்டை நாட்டில்,
தோழன் யாக்கை எரிய
சுற்றாற் இன்றி அமைதிக்காத்தேன் மயானத்தில் ,
முழு நிலவொளியில் தேனீர்
பருகினேன் ஆழிக்கரையில்,
அசைவின்றி கல் நிற்க    
உரையாடினேன் ஆலயத்தில் ,
அப்பொழுதெல்லாம் உணரவில்லை - நீயோ
நொடிப் பொழுதையும் யுகமாய்
மாறச் செய்தாய்!!!
உன் பிரிவை என் தனிமை என்றும் வாழ்த்தும்
இப்படிக்கு எஸ்ராம்வென்.

plaground of devil's

 Well an idle mind is a devil's workshop...so i just put what i thought in our group chat....we are anyways always idle....so here is a short conv that took place between us friends.....a simple comic chat with a subtle   thought process...

s: Humans are a simple race who likes to enjoy life complicated
-sramven
V: Poda dog
m: Every living species has its own complications da
s: Unlike humans...they see even a simple issue to b complicated
s: That is coz of the curse called sixth sense
m: Ha Ha ha
m: The Same sense made humans to make complex issues to b simple
s: Ya...but life....it has bcome complicated
m: For ones who chose it to be so
s: he made things simpler so that he has enough time to complicate it
V: Life is complicated if u consider it
V: Buy philips products da ... U will become simple
m: There's always a choice...If one wants a simple life, live so... That easy it is
m: Ownership is the root of all miseries....
V: Choice is two edged sword , no, bond is the root of miseries
m: What's bond?
V: Bond is the attachment or defining adhesive which makes things cmplex
m: So, you want to own an attachment... That's bond
m: Then ownership is still the root
V: Ownership or is it associatiom
s: Cool
s: at the end of the day
s: the decision to make on the ownership is complicated
V: Why
m: Night will begin
s: not all decisions r esay
V: Maybe
V: Decision ?
m: Decide decisive decision da
P: Aaniye pudunga theva illa.. next time nee thatuvam anupu
s: Lol

Humans are a simple race who likes to enjoy life complicated.
-sramven

Almost a month ago

 or rather two, i met someone, whom i have considered important in my journey of life since childhood (though i know i am somewhere at the bottom of that person's priority list, but does that matter???!!! :D), i paid yet another visit probably after a long time. As i stepped inside their abode, i had a big surprise in years. I met this once great friend of mine nearly after 12 long years. I have always dreaded to lock eyes with long lost relation even in my dreams. I always felt a block in my throat even in my sleep, when the thought of talking to them occupied my head. 

But unlike what i always felt, a smile occupied my lips, my heart was overjoyed and i was transported back in time to my old schooling days. Days when i knew no stress, no strains, fun and joy always lingered in the air. We talked, talked..talked the entire day about the old stories, about the present happenings....

Just before i left the place, i realized how much life has changed, what happened to those carefree attitudes? what happened to those happy mornings? where did i lose my ability to enjoy the day? How much of an transformation have i undergone?  Both physically and mentally....

I earn for myself, i take care of myself, i do what i want to do...yet I dont have time to sit and relax, i am unable to come in terms with the word joy, fun and peace. So much for the grown up responsibility....And why is it that a grown up have to be so responsible and stressed? Cant i be responsible and have fun?

thinking aloud...i am trying to find where and how i have lost my inner peace....searching as i wander this land, hoping to find an answer soon, hoping to set things as i want to....After all change is inevitable, this time let me make it happen to meet my desires :)

Let glory be with Kalyan.

Parting

with someone whom u have known good enough and for a good period of time is always difficult. We were bunch of freshers put in the same project when we stepped into our corporate world. Bunch of guys from various corners of India, and we were all fortunate enough to be part of one of the most technically demanding project. Together we learnt, mocked, grew as a so called IT professional. As god sent angels came Dhapr06 and jansa02, to guide us both professionally and personally. And kuttan provided the much needed relaxation the project demanded……Little did we know then, we will jell so well, that today the last of the three remaining members of the original team had to part…I just felt a melancholic raja sir’s tune steadily playing in my heart. Change alone is permanent and yet again I was reminded of the same.

We are just two more left from the original core….and yes I am preparing myself for the day when only “I” will be left as the last of the famous “Others” group!!!Time moves on…but who knows when we will get to meet and work together again Hope….hope is the only good thing that has ever happened to human….

 

Let glory be with Kalyan!!!

5yrs…so what?

It was another day, a Saturday. My mom and dad bid farewell. With lots of thoughts and fuzzy ideas, I reached Srirangam station. A surprise in the form of pshyco and Yupiee awaited  me at the station. Typical to a political leader, they welcomed me and wrapped me in a fake silk shawl as everyone watched another mockery in the happening. After some joyful talks, I boarded the train at 645 in the morning, reached mambalam around 1230.

It was madhan, who received me at the station. Chennai, a place which I hated even before I did my college, a place with which I fell in love with over the last few years, a place which promised much of my earthly learning……..Two days later on 18th Jun 2007, a monday like today 5 years ago, I joined my place of work with 1000 other familiar and unfamiliar faces. Little did I know then, this journey will last for the lifetime.

As I browsed the calendar two days back, I realized the importance of 18th June, the day which marks the completion of 5long swift years. New acquaintance, new friends, new thoughts, new habits, new places, new agendas, new targets, new aspirations, new lifestyle, new dreams, new expectations…yet many disappointments, bunch of failures, life time lessons, few partings, little losses and tons of heart wrecking moments……

So much have I learned in the 5years…that I realized my leanings are nothing and the best is yet to come If I have to thank each and everyone who has helped me reach where I am, the list is indeed long…but I did take a moment to thank the god for letting me have them as part of my life……Do I miss anything now? Not of this world…..I just miss kalyan….I wish he was here, he was here to put his hand on my head, on my head when I bow down to touch his feat…I miss him dearly more than anything I have ever wanted to have…..

 

Let glory be with kalyan.

It was

just an another ordinary day. Life was sailing smooth at work. Suddenly my phone buzzed. I was, for a minute surprised to see the name on the screen….and a second later felt really really bad and embarrassed to have not called the person myself. As far as I know, he has been a great friend to me, a person with great level of innocence and tolerance. He was my roommate, classmate, college mate, colleague and above all is a good friend of mine. I am not really sure what happened between us, but we never called each other as often as we should have….atleast I never did as much as I called others.

Little did I realize how much of sadness filled my heart  as the sense of his departure from the city dawned on me….if not for that phone call, life would have just been like always. As I kept the phone down, I realized how much I have missed a good friend…..though repenting now would be of no use, I have vowed to check on him regularly…..not for him, not for anyone but just for me……

Sometimes I wonder, is it all that worth to boast and carry the pride of oneself at the cost of beautiful and meaningful relation on this glorious earth ? Come what may!!! Life just moves on….if not for that call, the life would have moved on, without me not going through an important lesson in life and about life….the beautiful life still moves on…..

 

Let glory be with kalyan.

ஒரு நிழற்படம் போதுமோ???

ஒரு நிழற்படம் போதுமோ?

புதைந்த நினைவுகளை அகழ?

மறுத்த தருணங்களை மறுமுறை வாழ?

மறந்த உறுவுகளை நினைவில் கொள்ள?

இழந்த கனவுகளுக்கு வண்ணம் தீட்ட?

சொல்ல விட்ட வார்த்தைகளை சொல்லி முடிக்க?

 

ஒரு நிழற்படம் போதுமோ?

சிந்திக்கிறேன்…….

இப்படிக்கு எஸ்ராம்வெண்.

 

 

Thanks to Sugan and RMS.

Watching the classic

again in the big screen is one awesome experience. The movie Karnan needs no introduction to all Tamil movie buffs...but living to see it on the big screen, that too in a prime cinema in today's time is something great...wow.

What an experience it was.More than the movie, the age old people dancing around his cutout, doing all pooja with flower and clapping and shouting to each and every expression of NadigarThilagam?!!WOW. A great experience.About the movie, the work becomes apparent as we hear the sound in the multi channel speakers. Awesome. 

In all had a great experience watching this movie again in the big screen!!! Thanks to everyone who worked on this project.  

Let glory be with Kalyan. 

A ton of tons.

Cricket, has been a religion in India. And i am no exception  following the same, but when it comes to play, i will ask how to do? :D The elusive ton of tons has been a point of talk since long now, and was finally achieved yesterday against Bangladesh. While the 100 has been pushed to the background coz of the lose and everyone talking about his 100's contribution to the overall score......for someone like me, it does not matter if India wins or not...for they have lost all the matches in Aus and Eng and I am more used to them losing than winning. So i really dont give a S*** if India wins or not. And in all these matches, Sachin's average has been among the top 2 in all forms of the game in the playing 11. 

While people are calling him to retire, Just a question to them whom are they expecting to be in the 11? The likes of Jadega and Rohit? Who score 10 or less in most games...i would be rather happy to see this man score that 10...and remember, he is a better fielder and runner than these two. So with all due respects to all the esteemed bashers, please refrain from talking about him when most (not all) people of his age or more wont be able to sweat out in the sun all day with high energy. 

Please enjoy his batting while he is still around, the last of the classic era of cricket with great technique and aggression. India as a team and board are hypocrites less said the better. When he decides to call it a day, many around the globe including me will stop practicing this religion. Having grown up watching Cricket with SRT, it is hard to imagine a state where the playing 11 will no more have the famed initials. 

Let Glory be Kalyan. 

An end or a beginning? The cycle continues

24jan2010 1140pm.

“Shall I come now and see him? Is he ok?”.

“He is all fine, don’t worry, u go and sleep”.

He kept the phone down, turned off the lights. He was unable to sleep. He turned and tossed around, but seems the sleep was not visiting anytime soon. Finally after a long struggle, he slept.

25jan2010 640am.

The phone rang to the bewilderment of the sleeping eyes. The hands raced to pick the call.

“Helllo”

“காலம் ஆய்டுத்து டா”,

Pongal-O-Pongal

So did another pongal breezed, and i think this is my first at Chennai. The night before the pongal i accompanied my aunt to buy the traditional sugarcane :) I was surprised to learn the prices. The last time i bought sugarcane was some 8yrs ago.

Along the slope at the entrance to G.Nagar from Chennai-Trichy National Highway, there would be a good number of shops showcasing the sweet canes in black and dark brown/blue (geez, i am color blind :D:D:D) .

Frustrated…bored…tired…..

Those words alone cannot just depict my dismay after hearing track after track for the past few months. The Tamil music directors keep churning out track after tracks labeling them as new and sometimes even labeling the music director as new, but I just feel like switching to another track when the vocals have just started. I still hear to ARR and Raja’s music and somehow, they always amuse me each time I hear them!!!

It was by chance I heard the track from Muppozhudhum Un Karpanaigal penned by my fav Thamarai. Should I say anything more? Yes. The first catchy thing was the voice, the artist aptly named Sithara. True to her name, the voice just keeps haunting me. The song is about how a mom loves her child or atleast that is how I perceived . The song is a real gem with great lyrics and rendition with little distraction or no distraction in the name of instruments.

From the move 3, I loved the rendition of Po Nee Po remix version. I guess the singer Sathyaprakash was the same person in the recently concluded Airtel Super Singer. Though somehow, the MD has got confused as he progresses in the track and remixed the song with too much of bass, guitar, drums and what not!!!! but take the masala out and u get to see the potential from this lad. The song is no ordinary effort. One more track I would like to mention is again from movie 3, led by Shruti Hassan and Dhanush. Kannazahaga…..For some reason, I love Shruti Hassan’s voice and for the very same reason, I am listening to this song, though not in a loop….

Well that sums up my recent interests…probably after Vaagai Sooda Vaa though there were some interesting track, but they failed to keep me interested for long. Now don’t ask me about Nanban tracks and get me started

Let glory be Kalyan.

Yet another tale of friendship.

2011, Sat Oct 29 9:30pm

The rain had relaxed a bit, giving some time for people to reach their home before it can unleash the biggest downpour yet. He locked the door, turned off all the lights except the one at the front door. Turned his head towards the sky, took a quick gaze. He shook his head dis-approvingly. He thoughtfully sat on his pulsar. slightly pressed the red button and pulled the accelerator, vrrom sounded the engine.

2009, Wed Jan 28 10:30pm

They shared a  table that can accommodate just two in the posh, veggi hotel. Both of contrasting size, weight, color, temper and likes sat across the table. They had known each other for the past 6yrs, and yet only the last couple of yrs had brought them closer than they had ever been. While each shared there story for the week, which had become a habit and a ritual they practiced religiously over the past few months, the sense of humor prevailed through out the narration, making even the lean patches sound wonderful.

They talked about anything and everything that either concerned them or otherwise . A plan was laid out to rent a house somewhere near their office and do self cooking and enjoy life like their hostel days.

2011, Sat Oct 29, 10:00 pm

He parked the vehicle and looked around. A hand waved towards him. “I would have never come here, and am here only coz u insisted”, said the excited voice as he neared the waving hand.

“Nah, neither am interested to take u here…but since u told u have a liking for ghee dosa, I thought I should make u come here. Otherwise, its been long since I have been to this place”, he gave a assuring reply with a genuine smile adoring his lips.

“Should we eat at the ground level or u want to go upstairs?”, his companion asked with a blank on his face. Starring at the stairs for a few mins, “lets go upstairs” came the reply from him towards his new companion. They both climbed the stairs. The waiter immediately recognized him.

“How are u sir? Table for two?Long time since we met.”.

“Me good, have been out of town all the while. Yes table for two. U have not changed a bit. Hope things are fine at your end!!” came the reply from him towards the waiter.

2009, Sat Feb 21 9:30pm

They both sat exactly at the same table and ordered the same dish as their previous visit.

“So finally we have the house as planned”, grinned the fatty lad.

They have finalized on the new home and the deposit had been paid.

“Ya so how have u been?”, replied his friend, a friend of 6yrs now.

For the past two weeks, there had been just occasional, important phone calls and both worked on different shifts, which made, meeting really impossible. They made sure, they would meet on this night, since both had something to share with the other.

“Good. So u wanted to tell me something…", the fatty lad gave a pause.

“well, its just that I am likely to shift base to Bangalore from Chennai. Have got a good opportunity, so I might move in two to three weeks…”,his friend paused and looked at the fatty lad’s eyes with no expression on his face.

“Wow!!! Happy for u buddy. I guess I too will have to leave for US in a couple of weeks…”, came a spontaneous reply and he gave the same look as his friend.

Both grinned and laughed, made all sort of comments. They both knew they had to vacate the new home and will have to part ways for good, which might make them meet never again probably.

2011, Sat Oct 29, 10:50 pm

“So what took u so long to eat just one meal? I have never seen u eat so slowly?” asked his friend. As though pulled out of a dizzy, he looked up at the staring friend, gesture him that everything his normal. He quickly ate everything that he could lay his eyes on. His friend had never seen him so calm in any of their previous meetings, atleast not on the dining table. Today he rarely spoke, and if at all he spoke it was about ordering food.

They paid and as they came out to the parking lot, he opened his mouth after a long gaze at the top floor.

“This was our frequent tea shop. A place where we met every other day, when we earned really less. We ate here more so for the sake of spending time in other’s company than for the taste. We talked and joked, life then seemed simple. Today we both are in great position, yet the phone calls have become a rarity. Neither of us know what is happening in other’s life. Not that we do not care, somehow we have got ourselves engrossed in our day to day life, we did not notice that gap. It was in this same place couple of yrs ago, we stood for a long time talking about our future plans before we wished all the luck to us and departed on our journey. After that life has never been the same and our friendship too. We both went outside the borders of India. Though we do care a lot for each other, I have never tried to make  it up for the gap……”, with remorse taking a center stage in his eyes he continued, “all the while since I decided to come over here, the thoughts and the sense of missing someone has been hovering at the back of my mind intensely. No offence meant to u…but sorry…today was not the day meant to be here….I was happy for finding a true friend in him, but strangely…..”

They wished good night and parted, he was still lost somewhere and the other unable to comprehend whom his friend was talking about.

 

Disclaimer: All characters, incidents and place are purely a work of fiction. Any resemblance to living or dead is not my botheration that it has come across my creativity!!!

Let glory be with Kalyan.